Yo, lemme just say this upfront—cooking don’t gotta be all fancy-schmancy, ya know? Like, who even has time for all that slicing and dicing Gordon Ramsay nonsense? Not me, that’s for sure. So, I thought I’d share some recipes (or like, food hacks?) that are stupid easy, and, honestly, probs taste better than takeout.
1. The "Whatever’s in the Fridge" Stir Fry
Aight, so, here’s the deal. Stir fry isn’t really a recipe—it’s more like a lifestyle choice. Got leftover veggies? A half-eaten rotisserie chicken? Boom, dinner.
You’ll need:
- Random veggies (idk, carrots, peppers, broccoli, literally anything green-ish)
- Soy sauce or some kinda saucey thing
- Protein (eggs, chicken, tofu, or whatever’s not moldy yet)
- Rice or noodles (leftover takeout rice = chef’s kiss)
Instructions:
- Chop the veggies. Or don’t. Who cares, it’s your meal.
- Toss ’em in a pan with oil and pray nothing burns.
- Add soy sauce. Taste it. Too salty? Add water. Too bland? Add more soy sauce. Science.
- Mix in your protein and carbs and call it a day.
2. The Lazy-Person's Pasta
Okay, hear me out. This ain’t your Italian grandma’s pasta. This is “I just got home from work, and I’m STARVING” pasta.
You’ll need:
- Box of spaghetti (or whatever pasta shape falls out of your cupboard first)
- Jarred marinara (fancy name for tomato sauce in a jar lol)
- Parmesan cheese, probs from the green shaker thingy
- Garlic powder (because chopping fresh garlic is too much effort)
Instructions:
- Boil water. Put in pasta. Wait.
- While the pasta’s doing its thing, heat up the sauce. Microwave works too, btw.
- Combine pasta and sauce. Sprinkle cheese on top like you’re an artist or something. Donezo.
3. Slap-Together Tacos
Tacos are basically edible art, except like, way easier than actually being artistic.
You’ll need:
- Tortillas (flour, corn, idk, whatever’s cheapest)
- Some sorta filling (ground beef, beans, or just cheese if you’re feeling EXTRA lazy)
- Salsa or hot sauce (adds ✨flavor✨)
- Optional toppings: Lettuce, sour cream, guac, etc.
Instructions:
- Heat your tortilla. I mean, you could skip this, but warm tortillas just hit different.
- Throw in your filling. No need to be neat.
- Add salsa. And like, anything else you wanna toss in.
Taco Tuesday? Nah. Taco everyday.
4. Midnight Mug Cake
Sweet tooth craving at 11 p.m.? No prob, I gotchu.
You’ll need:
- 4 tbsp flour (yes, measuring is annoying, but just eyeball it)
- 2 tbsp sugar
- 2 tbsp cocoa powder (or skip it if you’re not into chocolate, I guess)
- A splash of milk (like 2–3 tbsp or whatever looks right)
- 1 tbsp oil or butter (melted, obvi)
- A pinch of baking powder (but who’s even measuring pinches?)
Instructions:
- Mix everything in a mug. Pro tip: Use a BIG mug unless you wanna clean your microwave later.
- Microwave for 1–2 mins. Watch it rise like it’s doing its best soufflé impression.
- Eat straight outta the mug. Who’s got time for plates, amirite?
So, yeah, there you go. Recipes that barely count as cooking but will totally make you look like you’ve got your life together. Or at least like, 10% together. Cooking’s about vibes, not perfection, okay? Try one and lemme know how it goes (unless you burn it, then like... maybe don’t blame me).
Peace, love, and lazy meals. ✌️